It's just another New Year's Eve...

...another night like all the rest. And so the song goes... and when it's through, this New Year will be just fine. Yes, I am an optimist. I think we are in for even more hard times than we already have. I am glad we are reaching the end of W - can't get much worse, in my world view. BUT I believe in the ingenuity of the American people and sincerely hope that the politicians will work WITH the American people to get us on a right track again. There is a report that a Russian professor is predicting the break-up of the U.S. by 2010. I am certain he does not understand the American psyche. If Washington maintains a populist track, we will reinvent what needs reinvention and maintain what needs to be maintained and it will all be better. Our danger is greed. We cannot let greed direct bailouts, even of the little people. We need visions of prosperity for all and shared responsibility parceled out according to ability to share the load. Big money had its chance and failed and its time for small money to take the load and lift up everyone. I look forward to new entrepreneurial spirit and innovation that will puzzle, bedazzle and amaze me into old age! I have to figure out what type of new TV to buy and when! Not to worry- my TV is fine and I hav cable, so I am ready for the digital switch. But, I do need to update the TV at some point! Consumerism to help the economy at some future date! Happy New Year!

Great Inspirations

Readers Digest this month has an article where famous people talk about other famous people who have been inspirations to them. One that caught my attention was the Chinese pianist Lang Lang who explained that opera tenor Luciano Pavarotti had inspired him because of his ability to make classical music interesting to such a wide audience. I regularly bemoan the influence of pop singers on the performance practices of singing just about anything in public these days. My favorite Christmas albums are the ones done by opera singers because the arrangements are so interesting. Electronics make live performance more and more manufactured. Yet a young Chinese pianist still has the desire to bring live music to lots of people. This is indeed encouraging. There is just nothing like live performance. I hope that it is always avilable for the rest of my days. And I'm not likely to stop doing my own small part arranging music for church that probably has not been heard in a few hundred years in the city of Baltimore - or hasn't been heard in its re-arranged form. Arranging music, if only for me for a small Wednesday service, keeps the minds working. This is a good thing. But I am happy to read about Lang Lang.

Checkin' it six times

Gosh, I REALLY hope I'm ready for Santa tonight. I've checked my list several times and I keep checking. At my age, one just has to do that. There is always something to be forgotten.
Perhaps a change of mindset would do. I just need to keep rehearsing for Christmas - whatever comes to past. I rehearse music frequently. Translate that into rehearsing for the holidays. Just keep playing the music and the mood takes care of itself. If only the mind could be trusted. The mind is such a precious thing, yet so easy to attack, befuddle or allow to go fallow. Yet, no matter. Forward! Que sera, sera! Don't say anything about dated. Lucky I can remember! This too is a good sign! Ho ho ho! Peace on earth!

'Twas the night before the night before Christmas

On the night before Christmas I am always in church and it is a long night. So probably there will be no blog post for the night before Christmas unless ghosts awaken me during the night - IF I ever really get to sleep! The problem with Christmas Eve night is that it is hard to wind down after church to get sufficient sleep to get up the next morning and go back to church. I had my last appointment with the urologist today to set me free post prostatectomy. It is indeed a good thing to cross a doctor off the list in these latter years. I am already praying that some other malady doesn't crop up in 2010 - you know foot in 2006, prostate in 2008 - I would rather avoid the obvious pattern. We had a holiday luncheon at work. I did a half day so I could attend lunch. As usual, I have use-or-lose to be frittered away before the end of the year, complicated, of course, by furlough days - oh joy! I spent most of the night cooking - much better than thinking about normal life. Christmas music on the stereo helps to keep the season moving forward. I hope the magic of the season touches and blesses as many people as I can think of - and more! I think peace would be the greatest gift for everyone.

Food Glorious Food

Perhaps I should save this title until after Christmas, but today it is all about planning food. I've made my list and checked it twice. Tomorrow is last minute grocery shopping to make all the goodies that have to go to complement the various holiday festivities. I have become the vegetable expert. No weird stuff for holiday gatherings - just basics. The HUGE disadvantage of having such a small house - it is hard to have more than just the smallest number of people in. I need to have at least a few people in to show off my beautiful kitchen floor. But cooking for gatherings elsewhere is great fun. Heck, just cooking for me is great fun. I'm still learning good things to make. Who would have thought that rutabagas would be just the thing for in-between eating to keep the diabetes in control. Gee, and the doctor just let me in on another secret I didn't know: if the sugar gets too crazy, just increase the meds cuz I'm on such a low dose anyway. It's all so easy. And great-grandmother would be pleased because on Christmas morning, finally, after all these years of singing in church, it's Ihr Kinderlein kommet (O Come Little Children) - in German! I will never forget when great-grandmother sang it for me in her 80's or 90's, showing me that she still remembered the German. Now, I will sing it for her! - and cook for everyone else whose path I will cross!

The Goose is Getting Fat

One week until Christmas eve...Traveling does not help to accomplish holiday preparations. I usually try to get the decorating and preparations done around or before December 6, St. Nicholas day. Tonight is Advent Lessons and Carols - for me almost as big as Christmas Eve. I will need the help of the Almighty, as my cold still lingers. I need to be in top form. I accomplished absolutely NO preparations for Christmas in the house before today. Today, I changed out the bathroom and the bedroom, the decorated the front bay window, and hung the Christmas wreath on the door. I think I'm going to forego outside lights because I just don't have time. Maybe Saurday! Again, laundry all day! It never stops. Of course, now with allergies blooming with old age, everything always gets washed every time it is used, curtains, shower curtains, throw rugs, sheets, towels. I guess it is really not different, but I am more aware of making sure it is done and changing fabrics in the house more frequently. Christmas cards have begun to arrive and I haven't even checked my stock. I don't remember if I remembered to stock up during the after-Christmas sales. Growing into my dotage I forget lots of things. I noticed when I put down the bathroom throw for Christmas it's a Ralph Lauren - I don't think I realized it when I bought it - largely rich red with gold & green botanical trim - NOT holly. Goes with my RL river rock paint over the plastic tiles in the bathroom. And you know, I didn't even try! WHo me coordinate? NEVER! I think I'm going to make bread in the machine every night now to experiment and possibly for some gifts. I think I'll be doing laundry every night too. Now that we know the governor has furloughed state employees, I'll have a bit more time, because I have to transfer two of my use-or lose days off. I laugh thinking how no matter what, time always seems to escape us so easily during holiday preparation time and then it's suddenly January. Three more days to the solstice. I always rejoice with the passing of the solstice because I do not relish so many hours of darkness. I like daylight when we don't have to fret about electricity use. But as Christmas approaches, I always put things in terms of the goose getting fat for the feeding and pleasure of many. I hope as the days pass there is increasing satisfaction and pleasure for the holidays. If only the laundry would stop!

Hotlanta

It's a tough job, but I had to go to Atlanta for meetings on midnight regulations. I've never been so subject to politics before, and I must say, I don't like it even if it does include a free trip to Atlanta. Surprisingly, the presentation was well-done, but the message was NOT to my liking. I was told that legal types are ready to go to court to ask for an injunction the day the regulations are published. Since these types of cases are file in the DC circuit, word is that they will probably win... which will make my trip to Atlanta just a junket. I didn't have much time. I got to tour CNN. I was amazed at how small the place where they actually did the election night coverage with all those millions of people is. I was looking for something interesting to eat and saw a menu posted on the outside of the building with soething called Twisted Macaroni with Cheese and Chicken that sounded interesting to me, and kind of like comfort food. I walked in to the restaurant to discover that I had wlked in to a Hard Rock Cafe. I would have never chosen the place if the menu outside had night tempted me. When I am in a different place, I always like to find the local hot spots that are NOT chains! It's still quite do-able. I was at the Peachtree Center also. I had planned to do some Christmas Shopping there, but was uninspired because it was just like a mall in Baltimore. I think part of our problem with the American economy is that all of our malls are the same now. We don't support little people, just giant conglomerates with glitzy displays in malls. Now, for my reading material for this trip, I picked up Animal, Vegetable, Miracle which is the book about one family's effort to survive for a year solely on local food stuff that they either grew or traded with other local farming families. I was remembering my farming roots. I was remembering my aunt saying that they didn't know anything about the depression because they always had enough food and there was always plenty of work on the farm. I think the Wall Street debacle shows clearly that many Americans have lost their grip on reality. Why else would I have to go to Atlanta for meetings on midnight regulations that may get stopped in court? And then there is the question of did I enjoy my flight? Flying is great for time, but other than that,it is deadly dull. And I think we've really gone overboard with security. I really absolutely resent that travelers have no choice but to buy food and drink in the airports where they jack the price up for everything. There is definitely something wrong when an industry (and the government) assumes that everyone is rich and will pay higher prices for food, just because they happen to have an airline ticket. Hey, after, all, I don't even pay for my ticket, you do! But guess what. I don't think I've ever seen a homeless person or a welfare queen trying to get a seat for a short flight. Atlanta is good for walkers. I never knew it before. It's hilly! Oh, and the subway runs through rock. The station I had to use to get to and from my hotel was chiseled out of rock and left exposed for all to see. I liked that! BUT, Atlanta was NOT hot for this visit. It was cold and windy, just like it was when I left and when I returned to Baltimore. I was hoping for the milder southern breezes and temperatures. NOT this trip!

hematoma granuloma 2

Back in June I wrote about granuloma on my vocal chords. Yesterday, the ENT told me he doesn't believe it is a granuloma. He had also told me back in August about doing some sort of exploratory surgical procedure to further examine whatever it is, but yesterday he told me it may or may not explain what is going on. So now he says he wants me to do Nexium twice daily, going back to the original WRONG diagnosis of 3 years ago, and have yet another videograph in January - there have been five since June - to see what can be seen. Now add in the factor that DR. Brilliant is leaving Hopkins, which means he may or may not be there for however long it takes to follow up on this mystery. Then I watch Discovery Health channel where they show people who go through many years of agony and torture with doctors in cities all over the country before someone figures out the REAL diagnosis. I am beginning to think my vocal saga is the makings of another episode of Mystery Diagnosis for Discovery Health. Meanwhile I age, but the voice teacher says age is NOT the issue. Still, this is making me so distraught that I am considering just hanging up my hat and retiring from singing. I'll certainly be on the ball to publish the fact IF Discovery Health contacts me!

When the bow is seen in the clouds

...then I will remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature that is on the earth. Revered words from Genesis.
I have been nursing a cold all week-end and have become tired of cold symptoms and over-the-counter meds to treat those symptoms. The day grew blacker and blacker as storms moved upon us in the sky. But it was a curious afternoon with fleeting fits of sleet or hail and rain and stubborn sunlight refusing to be eradicated. I was glad to be driving home after a lackluster day of work. And then suddenly, I turned a corner and saw upon the horizon TRIPLE rainbows, and the first one was absolutely the widest rainbow I think I've ever seen in my life. At first I could only see two rainbows because the first one was so wide, but within a second or two I realized there were actually three! I wanted to stop and wonder, but unfortunately I was on a busy and dangerous street, so the best I could do is drive slowly to extend the wonder.
Wonder is uplifting!

Black Friday

I didn't spend a cent. I slept most of the day thanks to codeine and cold fighting. I should have a turkey carcass to make soup. That would be quite the ticket. Just my Welsh luck too. I'll sleep away the holiday week-end and be well just to go to work on Monday. Oh joy! And the chores will still be here awaiting my attention. Double joy! So Black Firday has something to do with retail sales? Bah, humbug! Might it be interesting to see who darkens the door of Brooks Brothers at 6 a.m.? NOT!

Tradition

Thanksgiving is about tradition. I can't remember how many times my Thanksgiving tradition has changed. My fondest memories are of going to visit the family in North Carolina. Thanksgiving in the country always meant lots of delicious food. I don't so much remember whether or not we ate turkey, but there was lots of accompaniments, as there always was in the country. It seems quite curious that abundance was typical without wealth, though, historically, that is what Thanksgiving is about also. Today, I stayed home alone trying to fight off a nasty cold. Over-the-counter cold medicine is worse than the cold. I surely don't want to make this a tradition, though I remember one year when I flew to Alabama to visit Mom for Thanksgiving, I was sick. Interestingly, I seemed to overcome it while in Alabama and quickly fell under its influence upon my return home. I had made homemade bread and kielbasa and sauerkraut to take to Thanksgiving dinner with my goddaughter and her parents. So that was Thanksgiving dinner for me, with the addition of some leftover barley and mushrooms. (I packed up most of the prepared foods and sent them on after church this morning.) I was thankful to use up leftovers. I was thankful to have been able to sing through the service at church this morning. I have much to be thankful for, though dealing with a cold and cold medicine seems to overshadow everything. Poor me, physically; I am SO thankful, spiritually.

By bread alone?

Mom gave me a bread maker some years back. I used it occasionally, but not particularly often. Part of the recommended diet for diabetes control is lots of whole grains. Diabetic diets often encourage whole grain bread, especially for breakfast. I've learned lots about using lots of different grains that I've never eaten before like millet. I've also become a really big fan of barley. Recently I found a couple of whole grain bread cook books for bread machines on Amazon and I've been testing the recipes. This is a delightful occupation because it is wonderful to fill the house with the smell of bread baking. And indeed, eating whole grain breads helps to keep the blood sugar regulated. Shoppers, which is the grocery store I can walk to, carries a line of Bob's Red Mill flours and I can get all sorts of flours that are generally not avilable in the run-of-the-mill grocery store. For Thanksgiving I made Autumn Harvest bread, which uses pumpkin, carrots, applesauce and whole wheat, and Zuni Indian bread which uses whole wheat, cornmeal and molasses. Usually, I only need to make a loaf of bread every other week or so. I cut it into slices and freeze two slices in sandwhich bags that I can take out and toast for breakfast. It is wonderful to have fresh homemade bread rather than store bought. Actually, I've made home made bread alot even before Mama gave me the bread maker. But now I can enjoy the scrumptuous flavors and beefy textures of whole grain breads and have it all just by measuring ingredients into the bread maker. It can be done any day or night of the week - how convenient! It makes it easy to take home made bread when invited to dinner too! But, again even with my advancing age, I am learning to use whole grains in bread as I would have never imagined. All with the additional pleasure of an aromatic house and eating with gusto! And for years I always skipped breakfast because it made me sick. No more!

Victory Plate

I suppose one should not be surprised in our materialistic society when just days after the election some tacky company wants to produce and sell a "limited edition" Victory plate to celebrate the president elect. It never ceases to amaze me that such tackiness offends me in my increasingly conservative old age! I collected stamps in the days of my youth. I don't even remember what happened to them. I remember people who collected souvenir plates and had them on their walls. I remember someone who collected beer steins. But please, a souvenir plate of Barack Obama just days after the election is just too tacky. But only $20 a pop for a limited edition fine porcelein with solid gold edging is just too good an offer to pass up. I hope he is more classy in his presidency than these dweebs that would seek to capitalize - oh, a pun - on his election. Give me a break!

Bail me out too

Are we all tired already of bailouts? How many years worth of taxes are going to who knows who? - and they just keep lining up. I wonder where the breaking point is. When will we reach the point of no return where we have bailed out so much of corporate America and the country collapses because there is simply no more money to be lent to bail out? And when it all collapses, who gets the worth of what's left? Is that when China comes in a sets up its proprietary government? And when all of these corporations have failed, what happens to the debt of people who owe them money? How much "faith of the American people" can we live on? I think everyone in the country should get automatic debt consolidation to lower payments AND interest for all outstanding debt. But that would be socialism. So why is it not socialism when you give it to fat cat corporations? I am simply amazed as I hear the news everyday. So we bail out the banks, then the auto industry, then the airlines, then the pharmaceutical industry etc., etc., etc. And quelle grande surprise that the Federal Reserve and the Treasury are just making things up as they go along with the money that Congress has already authorized. And now they want to authorize more and call it a stimulus package. I am sick. I am befuddled. I am troubled. I am getting old. Depression stories haunt. What a way to go!

Grandma's Feather Pillows

One of the disadvantages of traveling for work is that I never sleep right the first night in a stange bed. I've always believed one reason is that when I first left home to go out on my own, my grandmother gave me two feather pillows that have been on my bed low these many years. Hotels always have those synthetic stuffed pillows which never allow me to sleep properly. And usually they are too soft. So yesterday I went to the allergist to discover that I need to intervene more seriously with the spring and fall pollen allergies. This year the ragweed was the worst season in many years the doctor told me. I also described a night when I awoke with my sinuses all stuffy and was laboring to breathe. She asked about my bedding and I had to fess up that I had my grnadmothers very old feather pillows and the doctor told me I can no longer use them on my bed. So today I had to go to Bed Bath and Beyond and get hypoallergenic pillows and hypoallergenic pillow covers to refit my bed so that it is more friendly to my allergies. I don't know how long it will take to adjust to the new pillows, but I am sure it will not be tonight. I'll just have to put grandma's feather pillows on the futon. After all, they've been with me all these years. I just have to remember not to fall asleep on them, especially during allergy seasons. Stay tuned for when I get my first good night's sleep! Oh, and yes, I love spending money on things that I never thought I would have to spend money on. Hypoallergenic pillows - bah, humbug! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - soon - I hope. And, uh, spare the getting older wise cracks!!

Election Day

I am not so much concerned about who wins the election as I am about CNN returning to reporting news instead of punditing us to death. I used to love CNN. I can't stand them now. Too many pundits; too much punditing too much of the time - virtually all the time. I've been thinking that they won't have a clue of how to report the news any more since they've basically slanted everything to punditing.
And, yes, I voted. Why do we have to vote for 8 judges when there are only 8 on the ballot? What is the point? And I am becoming more conservative with my advancing age. I voted for all of the bond issues, for the art gallery, the aquarium, the theater, etc. but voted against the community planning grants because I figured that was just money for the mayor to dole out to her friends for more useless "studies". I know that bond issues always pass anyway, but I just couldn't ethically give the mayor more power over more money since she has already been charged with ethical misconduct.
The wedding was interesting. It was put together quite well. They had a disc jockey who played music during the ceremony - classical pieces. He got them almost all wrong. I had to wonder whether or not I was the only one who knew. The bride and groom muct have chosen them. I didn't say anything, so I don't know what happened. The wedding was built around a wine theme that worked quite nicely for October. It was also interesting to be a part of the older crowd at the wedding. The young people were definitely their own crowd and uninterested in the older folk who were mostly family. But the family enjoyed the celebration of the day, and as we all age, these sorts of occurrences are treasured.
Hmmmm, only one post in October. Surely there are more musings than that! You bet! Notice there are actually three postings in this one. I just need to spend the time to write.

Lift thine eyes to the mountains

A trip to the mountains, especially when they are bursting into their fall riot of color is a chance at renewal and refreshment. I got to go to the mountains on Thursday and I took the back roads home so I could enjoy the fall colors. It sure beats the political pundits who have come to dominate TV. I guess as soon as the election is over we'll have to get started with the next one because obviously a year is not enough time to persuade voters. BUT, keep Manhattan just give me that countryside! Actually, for me I like Manhattan as a place to visit. Ican clear the mind too, but not refresh like the crisp mountain air. Interestingly, as I came through West Virginia, I noticed a mountain ridge crowned with wind turbines, obviously for power. Apparently Allegheny Power is more on the ball than Constellation Energy. After seeing miles of wind turbines on the mountains in California, I think we should be building lots of them here too. Falling leaves remind us of the life cycle with all its rhythms. Would that all of us could go out in such a blaze of glory! A family wedding will especially brighten this season.

St. Michael & All Angels

I suppose it will take the entire heavenly host to get the US out of its financial mess. I wonder what happened to the guardian angels in Congress! Michaelmas for many centuries has been a traditional day for a special blessing for children. I never knew that! Michaelmas flowers are white daisies - one of my favorites! The feast of St. Michael and All Angels is the day when Germans celebrate freedom of religion - or more accurately, freedom to worship in the church of your choice. This spilled over into American culture during the 18th and 19th centuries when the majority of immigrants were Germanic. I find it interesting that the concept of angels was actually imported into Christianity from Judaism but there is no official "doctrine" about angels in either religion. Yet, if you do a Google search, you'll find lots of churches named for St. Michael and the gang. There was a recent secular phenomenon some years back when there was a resurgent interest in all things related to angels, especially art. OK, so where do the angels go when Congress meets? Who knew they could pick and choose where they might exert their protection or influence? I don't think that's in any of the lore.

Plantains & Pineapple

Plantains and pineapple create a new dinner treat for me. Saute those plantains in a little olive oil to a wonderful brown and drain them on paper towels. Get rid of or save the oil. Add canned pineapple chunks and sprinkle with cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves and sometimes a little curry if I'm in the mood. For vegetarian dinner serve with some rice, or to add a little meat, saute a few chicken tenders and then mix them into the fruit. Hmmmmmmm! Delicious and aromatic!!
So why do we need to spend $700 million to bail out how many banks? And this is worse than 1929? And we'll be paying for this until beyond my natural lifetime?
Less than $7 for dinner. Gee, $700 million would sure feed a lot of people. Will I be able to buy, fix and eat plantains and pineapple when this crisis is long gone and quite forgotten? Simple joys.

Iron Man

Another finishing touch for the refurbished kitchen: hang an iron pot rack above the new stove and then hang the old itron skillets along with a few new Calphalon pots and - voila - a new French twist in my rather country kitchen in the city. Nothing like old iron skillets for down-home cookin'. No other way to make cornbread or fry anything - even though frying is now basically banished from my cooking repertoire. By the way, you've noticed it's almost a month since the installation of the new floor, and I'm still working on the kitchen. Predictable all the way! But still, I cannot give up my iron skillets. And what a great way to test running the new oven. I scrubbed the iron skillets and re-seasoned them to freshen their look. Nothing like shiny black! It mimics the color of all the appliances. Iron and black, with the new stone-look floor probably make the kitchen too masculine now for the average buyer, in spite of the pink - uh, that is, musical mist - walls. Still, I'm glad to have aged iron skillets. And my new stove came with an iron griddle and iron grates for the cook-top. Actually, I suppose I'm well set in the cookery department - 3 Calphalon non-stick pots, 3 Calphalon non-stick skillets, and 3 well-aged iron skillets and an old steel wok. Revere ware? NOT!

Motorcycle Madness

When I grew up, people who drove motorcycles were hoodlums - except, of course, my cousins when they got a scooter to run up and down the street. And the uniforms of motorcycle people - those dirty jeans and leather jackets demonstrated their hoodlum characteristics. So, one day (last Thursday) I am riding around the countryside doing my normal job, going to visit some farm somewhere when I notice that everywhere I go there are motorcycles driving on the roads. Then, to boot, I notice the sight of these motorcycle riders seems to be elevating my blood pressure and my heart rate and I think, what can this be. After several instances of a perception of raised blood pressure and heart rate, it dawns on me - my childhood prejudice is being assaulted: motorcycle people are hoodlums! I am doing my honest day's work and these hoodlums are on the road gathering at some locale in the countryside, sullyng the peace with their noisy hogs and less-than-chic appearances. Why do these hoodlums need to invade my psychological construct while I am simply doing my job by being on the road often and everywhere so that I cannot ignore their presence? Prejudice is indeed deeply seated! Probably a good many of them are, if not average Joes, some doctors and lawyers and others who would exceed my exalted social status any day of their lives! And heck, I'm not going to be around for the week-end rally. I'll be safely ensconced in my oh-so-safe enclave in the big city. Right! Now that's madness!!

Replace, refurbish, or renew

Let's see, the kitchen saga has been going for several weeks now. I am looking forward to a day very soon when all of that will be history. Then it will be time to work on the bedroom. Strip the room and remove the rug as I've been wanting to do and freshen those hardwood floors that have been covered lo these many years. I think it sounds like a November/December project. NO medical appointments on the horizon. This is a reason to rejoice. Crops are nearing the end of their season here in Maryland which means I'll be tied to my office desk more often than I like. Forget that thought! Back to the kitchen. All the major appliances are new, and I got a new toaster oven just because I couldn't keep the old one looking tired among all the refurbished glitz. And why is it that what looked acceptable upon removal from the kitchen shows a need for renewal upon returning it to its place? I think in the good old days they called it house cleaning. Remember those spring and fall marathons we used to do? Maybe some of you still do them. I don't. As we all know, I have enough trouble just getting "normal" chores accomplished. One interesting observation... during all the renovations in the kitchen, all the dust in my house settled under the piano. It is a bit curious and comical that the floor under the piano managed to gather so much dust while everything elsewhere kept moving. No problem. Swiffer will make short work of it. Also, good reason to house clean the living room while I'm at it!

You get what you pay for?

My days of kitchen remodeling have led me to believe that one lifetime is too short to learn everything one has to know. And it simply is not good enough to learn and be secure in your knowledge. Before, I hooked up the stove, I read all the directions to be sure I understood the undertaking ahead. Already, in the previous post I told about needing a connecting piece that was not included in parts provided and the directions misidentifying said needed piece. Now how many people have bought a stove lately? I decided to hook up the stove myself because Sears wanted $150 on top of their sale price and their delivery and handling charges and Maryland's hefty taxes to hook up the stove. Remember the days when installation was included? But there is one other surprise they do not tell you. If you want the broiler pan that is included in the price, you have to send a written request form with $8.95 additional handling charges and mighty Sears will send you the "free" broiler pan that was included in the price of the stove. I complained about this to my sister Chris who informed me that she could have warned me on this one. I had a broiler pan in my old stove that was perfectly functional that I could have kept, but I did not know. I almost never broil anything, but surely, if I do not have a broiler pan, I will want one! Then there is the little detail about having the new floor installed and only finding out in the end that I have to seal it. Now sealing is no big deal, it's like washing the floor; you just wipe the sealant over the floor. But I didn't know it was something that I had to do and then leave to dry for 6 hours before I could then begin to re-assemble the kitchen. Now sealing the floor is by no means in league with having to pay extra handling charges to get a part of the stove that is included in the purchase price or having to purchase a connector piece to make the stove functional. But these days, you just have to check to see what a purchase price includes. It's no wonder I (and others who age gracefully or otherwise) become more and more confused with advancing age!

The ineptitude of decrepitude

In spite of 2 surgeries in 2 years, I've always felt reasonably well and wondered what it really means when people say they feel old. I got a glimpse these past few days from sore upper leg muscles resulting from going up and down the ladder to paint the kitchen. And, of course, I had to do 2 coats of the lighter brighter Musical Mist color for good coverage which meant double work. Then, my new stove was delivered minus one important connecting pieee. My legendary mechanical ineptitude kicked in and it took 3 trips to Home Depot to find out the manufacturer's installation directions were wrong and the piece I needed was actually something different from what was printed. I make it a ritualistic exercise to walk to Home Depot when I am picking up something I can carry easily and a little brass connector surely doesn't qualify for firing up the car. Interesting how a little bit of knowledge makes things so much simpler. Once I had the right piece, I connected the stove and turned on the fire and all was well. I cooked dinner on it just to assure that it would work properly. But, oh, the unrelenting presence of sore leg muscles slows down the progress of putting the kitchen back together. I have 2 more days. Now, I am a firm believer: getting old is surely not for the weak.

Fiendish Fingernails

When I was a teenager and went downtown to Peabody for music theory classes on Saturdays, I used to sometimes go into an old music store. There was a clerk in that music store who was some sort of exotic foreign person who spoke with an accent and had some enormously long fingernails that were polished with white pearlescent fingernail polish. Of course, this was one of the strangest sights I had ever seen and I always wondered why a man or anyone would have fingernails that long and how that person could possibly function in daily life. I remember buying something one time and he gave me my change, and when he placed the coins in my hand, he let them slide down his fingernails and into my palm. His fingernails touched my palm and it was a shocking sensation that I will never forget. So this morning, 40 years later, I run in to Home Depot to pick up something - you know, holiday week-end - get those chores and projects done! - and I went to a check-out counter with a live person because she was standing there with nothing to do and she was closer ot the door than the self check-out where I go most of the time. Well, low and behold, she had these enormous fingernails, longer than her fingers and curved toward her hand, painted in a burgundy color. Again, I was shocked, thinking her nails had a particular ghoulish appearance. Then I realized she was going to give me coins for change and I had a horrible sinking feeling about how she was going to place coins in my hand. Thankfully, she turned her hand sideways and let the coins slide into my hand and I was out of there and away from her in a flash. I knew there was a good reason to go to the self check-out counter! So much for saving a few steps when someone is not busy!

Musical Mist

Chaos reigns! The contents of my kitchen are reshuffled throughout the house. What happens when the room is empty. Well, of course, it shows that you really ought to paint the walls before you return the kitchen to its functional resettlement. Ah, and didn't the allergist say to wash or re-paint the walls due to the discovery of your cat allergy. And, true to form, another holiday week-end approaches. Don't holiday week-ends mean home improvement projects? OK. I give in. I'll paint the kitchen. Enter color choice phobia. Rekindle memories of Grandma's wonderful sense of color. What can be more perfect than my pink kitchen that doesn't scream pink? But my pink now looks dingey. The brilliance of the current color choice is that it is subtle. But does the new floor color demand something lighter to contrast the darker hues of the tile? Might it be wise to saturate the color just a bit more? Since the tile is very earthen in its tones, should I go in that color direction and maybe think more peach than pink to complement the rust of the floor tile? I have no leftover paint to take to Home Depot to try to match the current wall color. So I must look at the hundreds of colors on the paint display wall and try to figure what is going to look good in my house. As I review the Behr swatches it is obvious where my brain is telling me to go. I hover in one verticle row of colors. The lighter shades are the right tones. I check the Ralph Lauren whites and there are several good choices. (I always love Ralph Lauren colors - just not the price of the paint) However, none seem bright enough, but they do underscore my Behr choices/leanings. So bring home the color samples and see which ones seem to do it. I don't like trying to guess what a room is going to look like from a color card. Well, silly man, the answer is just given in the color name. There is no other choice. It must be Musical Mist whose dark counterpart is called Arizona Sunrise. And when the paint mixer puts in those little tinting blobs, what does he add? Brick red, yellow umbre & charcoal gray. Aren't those exactly the shades in the floor tile? Maybe there is just enough of Grandma's gene active in me after all. I just wish it didn't feel so daunting when I have to make a color choice. Stay tuned when the kitchen is transformed into a Musical Mist to find out if my instincts are right.

Moving towards chaos

Unlike Dolly Levi, I've NOT always been a person who arranges things. And what have I come to when so much of my life is consumed with medical issues and home owning issues? So now, I must re-arrange the kitchen to install a new floor. The new floor will be wonderful, but the path there I don't want to live through. Rather like my prostatectomy: glad to live through it and be cancer free, but quite worrisome and difficult to get through. A new kitchen floor won't be especially difficult for me. It will just consume more time and energy than I want it to. Arranging things is never high on my list of enjoyable activities. When it is forced and the results are a disaster anyway, as will be the temporary arrangements I'll have to live through to install a new kitchen floor, the prospects cannot seem in any way pleasant. It is difficult to summon the determination to do what needs to be done. None the less, Chaos, here I come! at least for a while!! I think I am going to have to give up summer home improvement projects!!! But I'll bet the Great Mover might not necessarily acquiesce to my preferences. So, move and arrange, I must. How will I ever recharge among the chaos? Ignore it!!!

Adolescent Remiscences

Today was a 6 month (7 months in actuality) post-surgery check-up to make sure I am cancer free. Good news, yes my score is still 0 -where we want it - meaning 100% cancer free. Now, as Joan Rivers would say, "Can we talk?" This is adult material, so if you are offended, please do NOT read. My standard joke lately is that life is good, except - because of having to use Viagra as a part of the surgical recovery process - I have to make an appointment to have sex with myself. OK - LOLOLOL - And remember I have printed doctor's orders to attempt sexual stimulation three times per week. So the doctor today HAD to ask how I was doing with the Viagra and self-stimulation. I reported that all is well, except that having to make an appointment to have sex with myself was certainly in no way spontaneous and surely not something I want to think about at my age - having abandoned the necessity of planning when to self-stimulate by my late adolescent years - most of the time following those natural hormonal urges. The stories that tell us life is a circle are certainly verified in this instance. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be a man approaching my sixth decade and having to think about when I should have sex with myself. BUT, the doctor reminds me today of an inconvenient reality. Today, for many men would have been the FIRST time the doctor was prescribing Viagra to START the recovery process for regaining sexual function, and that recovery is not even guaranteed (pre-surgery). So for the past 5 months I have been "smarter than the average bear". Ain't-a that good news???? I hope all my family and friends have stock in Pfizer in their portfolios!! - especially as Hopkins and others keep improving their success rates!

The Cost of Ignorance

Today it was $160 - not an exhorbitant sum, but given the trials of homeownership that I've enjoyed lately, not a welcome expense.
So I was awakened on Monday night realizing the air conditioning had quit. Quick study revealed the thermostat had gone on the fritz. 7 a.m. on Tuesday I am in Home Depot buying a new thermostat. Returning from Home Depot, I replace thermostat and air conditioning still does not work. Time to call BGE Home for service - I should have let them replace the thermostat - it is included in service contract coverage. SO when I replaced the thermostat, there were three wires - green, yellow and red - and numerous slots for connections of said wires with letters beside them - and it appeared to me that the letters corresponded to the wire color. But appearances are deceiving. It seems that my green wire was actually white and in the old thermostat the technician had installed a pin between the green and white connections that I didn't see. SO, when I connected green to green in the new thermostat, I made an error because green was actually white. Now with green connected to white, the air conditioning works, but alas, I am poorer due to ignorance. But rejoice, I am no longer melting!

I'm melting

Ah, I can hardly believe that it was 6 years ago when I replaced the oil furnace with a new gas furnace and installed central air while I was at it. And being a bit of a tree hugger, I installed a new programmable thermostat to help keep the utility bills in check.
SO, Monday night I am sound asleep and awaken at 1:30 in the morning feeling warm and clammy. I realize the air conditioning is not running. This is a bit unusual, and I think perhaps it is just in a rest mode and will start running again soon. I wait and nothing happens and it seems the room is getting warmer. So I go to check the thermostat and it is blank, registering nothing. I start pushing buttons, then go to every electrical switch connected to the heating & air conditioning looking for something that is not working. With no luck, I wait until 7 a.m. and go to Home Depot to get a new thermostat. Easy installation, but still no air conditioning. This means a service call. I have service with BGE Home. They are going to call at 7:30 a.m. to schedule an appointment for some time during the day between 7:30 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. THis is what a service contract buys - a telephone call on the morning of the service to let you know a range of time for when they expect to provide the servie you have paid for all along. Another John Stossel - give me a break.
Fortunately, I have ceiling fans in the two bedrooms and the kitchen. I read years ago that they help regulate the temperature and reduce utlity bills for heating and cooling. I remember to switch the air flow directions by doing it on the first day of srping for summer and the first day of fall for winter. Still, it is not easy to be without air conditioning when you are accustomed to it. I'm melting. Yes, believe it or not, I've shed a couple of pounds these few days - all water weight (sweat), I'm sure. It sure would be nice not to regain them! Come quickly to mine aid, O great BGE technician!

Movin' on... in which direction?

So the allergist says to strip the house, clean everything, then put the house back together. A daunting task indeed! And naturally, my lazy self has just been ablaze with determination. NOT!The recommendation is to begin with the bedroom... and I've wanted to get rid of the bedroom rug anyway...BUT...Then the plumber comes and camps out for a day and a half. Now, THERE is a reason to strip the bathroom and put it back together. One room down. Are we counting yet? I've been wanting a new floor in my kitchen, aand that cheap linoleum keeps getting dingier and dingier looking and showing more and more worn spots where the black underlayer shows through. So why not peruse the tile store? I've always wanted a brick kitchen floor, but when I see it in the tile store, I don't like it. Of course, I like the most expensive tile in the store, but there is an inventory clearance sale and Jack can get a contractor discount. I bring home two tiles for a look-see. and the one I thought was perfect is the same color as my hardwood floors and my kitchen cabinets. I love it, but it is too much like the other things in my house, (who me stuck in a rut?) and I need contrast or my small house will definitely close in. I'm not sure I can live with the other choice. It has more color - more different colors - including the red earth of the brick that was my original inspiration. Both tiles look different according to where I put them in the kitchen. Oddly, when I walked into the tile store, I spied option B immediately and went in the other direction - suspecting that - true to my instincts - it might be the most expensive tile in the store. Call in the re-inforcements: my sister, Chris. We return to the tile store. Chris likes option B. The order is placed. Now I have to move the kitchen so Jack can replace the floor. This displacement will make the pantry closet look like a walk in the park. Yes, it was summer of 2007 when my house was in disaster mode due to the great pantry adventure. And while I'm moving and clearing, should I re-paint the walls? OH, and I've always wanted that braided rug under the kitchen table. Should I order that now. And shouldn't I replace the stove while I'm at it? The bedroom curtains will need to be changed around the first day of fall. Perhaps that is when I will do the bedroom. But after the bathroom adventure, it looks like the kitchen will get the next makeover - in my copious free time, of course. Stay tuned!

Stop and Smell the Soap

When one is single and lives alone, one needs to revel in sensual pleasures as they might be found. I've decided that enjoying refreshing scents of handmade soaps during morning showers is a small pleasure that can easily be afforded, especially with internet shopping and the rising cost of everything. And as every good Italian knows, olive oil is good for everything, especially aging skin. So why not enjoy some delightful scentsation every morning during the obligatory matin ablutions, and make the entire process beneficial beyond the social necessity of cleanliness. In the summer when the weeding tasks are furious, and sweat is more profuse, what a welcome antithesis to wash up with soothing gentle non-commercial and non-chemical soap with a favorite scent that is derived from herbal oil. What a pleasure the morning shower with the silky olive lather simultaneously exfoliating the skin and the bacteria of the night while not dessicating with preservative chemicals. The olfactory pleasure makes one want to waste some water and linger. Alas, the day is too soon hurtling onward.

Energy Star

Having to buy a new dishwasher opens one's eyes. My new dishwasher tells me it only costs $28 per year to operate if you run it 4 times per week (I run it once or twice) and your electric is 10.6 cents per kilowat hour - my electric rate is 11.69 cents per kilowat hour) (which begs the question of why Baltimore Gas & Electric has needed the rate increases it has been getting the past two years.) And that assumes the water heater is electric - mine is gas. Gas has gone up 40% in the last year, I just heard in the news today. Still, I am sure I can safely conclude that it only costs me a few pennies to run the dishwasher. BUT, I had to replace a light bulb in the ceiling light in the study. Now haven't we all replaced our incandescent lights with the new energy saving compact flourescent bulbs? I don't think one can even buy incandescent bulbs anymore, at least not in Home Depot. SO the point is, if I am consciously trying to be green and buy Energy Star appliances - my new refrigerator and new dishwasher - and I am using compact flourescent bulbs, what advantage am I getting over those who don't choose to think about these things because now, ALL the appliances are Energy Star rated and ALL the lightbulbs are compact flourescent. I know Energy Star ratings don't necessarily mean the best green option though I shop for it. But one has to wonder about the difference between making an effort and not.

The Year of New Appliances

I should have seen it coming. One reason I bought my house is because it had NO appliances which meant I would get everything new. I replaced my refrigerator just a few months ago and now the dishwasher. I now have a new bathroom sink and vanity. My laundry tub in the basement is only about 4 years old. I want to replace my stove simply because I want a more professional or industrial grade stove. And I've been threatening to replace the kitchen floor for about two years now. Funny how reality always brings plans to a stand still. And I am guessing that I'll have to go through this cycle at least once more given the odds of my longevity. My new dishwasher is all touch controls - AND not as quiet as I think it should be. I think the noise level is nearly the same as its predecessor. Perhaps Maytag hasn't really inproved the noise level in 23 years. I'd like to know what they mean when they say that a dishwasher is quiet. Do they measure the decibels??? I am sure a new washer and dryer will be in the not-too-distant future. It's only money! Only three more appliances to go. Oh, JOY!

If I Could Save Time in a Bottle

I am quickly learning one of the most precious things one has especially as one ages is time. Where are the days when there was time for idleness? I am a lazy person and like to have lots of time for laziness, but life keeps getting in the way. I am of an age where everytime I try to do something, I create at least one other task besides that in which I am engaged. I sweep a floor then accidently drop part of the contents on a rug so that I have to vacuum. I clean the steps and knock a picture off the wall so glass shatters everywhere and I have to sweep up glass before I can finish the task at hand. I shake some spice into what I am cooking then knock over several bottles when I go to return the one I just used so that I have to straighten up the rack so everything will fit. Or I rearrange the freezer to fit some new groceries and then can't fit what I took out to assist with the rearrangement. All of these things take time. It takes me more time to do everything. I used to jump out of bed into the shower and be on my way to work in 15 minutes. I don't undertand why now it takes me 20 or 25 minutes to get out the door now! My introverted self needs more solitude time to re-charge the batteries, and I just keep going like the Energizer bunny. Yes, I think if I could save time in a bottle, I'd use it mostly when I just seem to run out of time - which with age, is just plain too often, if not daily.

Every Day a Little Death

The title is a song in my favorite musical - A Little Night Music. It's probably stating the obvious that aging brings the title into sharper focus. Last weekend it was visiting Dad in the hospital. This week-end it is shopping for a new dishwasher. In between there was the loss of yet another tooth. And the cycle continues. It doesn't matter whether or not something really dies, but it is a simple reality of this world that every day there is a little death. Even in our own bodies, we shed skin cells and filter out dead blood cells and brain cells stop functioning. And every day I'm pulling at least a few weeds to insure their certain death. And I get perturbed that certain little deaths cost me money. No, I don't want to pay the dentist who pulls the tooth that will eventually fall out on its own, I hope. No I don't want to pay for appliances when the end of their useful life happens upon me, regardless of their extended years of faithful service. My idealism is checked by my fiduciary protectionism. How can I accumulate wealth when I have to keep paying for a little death every day? Ah, there is the rub! I don't mind a little death so much; I just don't want to have to pay for it. Silly me! The Biblical words are essential to the philosophical system, "Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die!" Hey, any one or combination thereof beats shopping for appliances! I've never minded grocery shopping. Heck, I do it at least three times a week now to maintain my walking routine and need to do it to keep the blood sugar where it is supposed to be. That brings me full circle to the beginning - "every day a little death." Not a conundrum - but how to live and react to the little death that comes our way daily - now, that's a conundrum - or at least, a cause for annoyance or introspection!

And the livin' is easy

When? Summertime? I am beginning to think there is no such thing. Murphy's Law - just when you have absolutely no time for anything, extras that need attention work their way into life. Why does the bathroom sink have to stop up so I have no choice but to call my favorite plumber. And of course, why does this happen on Friday when I can't get the plumber to answer any calls because it is the week-end? And didn't I just have all the pipes replaced under the sink? I should complain about my dishwasher going up after some 20 years of faithful service? (Wasn't it just last month I replaced the refrigerator - not June a year ago?) And I should complain that after 20 years one can no longer get parts, even for a Maytag? And I should complain about spending money to replace it? And I should complain about using my talents and doing arrangements for church? THAT kind of work makes me obsessed - I can't stop until it is done - which means something else in line stays in line on the TO DO list. And I wonder why I'm not feeling the easy living ambiance of summertime? Maybe this is the Providential rendering of " slow down, you move to fast, gotta make the morning last..." Maybe I should learn from the dogs. It's just too hot for any effort. Just kick back and adopt a French attitude " un de ces jours" (one of these days). I am just NOT amused! I spent too many years as a student and a teacher and summer is NOT supposed to be the least bit dramatic or inconvenient. Give me those lazy,hazy,crazy days of summer... PLEASE!

Racking up days

Or how many sick days can you use in one month a still keep your job? Good grief Charlie Brown. Another birthday and what do I have to show for it? Today I lost another tooth. I'm now calling it my 9 year torture. It was not really until July 2001 when I lost my first tooth in the front for everyone to see that the denture saga began, but I remember I was in denial having lost two or three back teeth prior to that. SO for 9 years now, I've lost my teeth one by one, and it never gets any easier. Having a tooth pulled hurts every single time. It's rather like death, no matter what I do, I know where the story ends; it's just that between two dentists, I don't know the specific twists of the plot development, except the next and last step. I now have only two natural teeth left in my mouth. I told the dentist today, that when the next one goes, I don't care what he says, they both go so I am finished with this nonsense. I'll be a full dentured old man. Today I also had a regular physical with my internist. Gosh, it was downright boring, given all the medical excitement I've had for the first six months of this year. Lets see, there was the great picnic of the radical prostatectomy (and don't let anyone tell you there is nothing radical about it!) (and truth be known, mine was better than most - I am an outstanding singular succes story), electrocution treatments for tennis elbow, another vocal chord trauma, and the truly revelatory findings of allergies. My big conundrum of my 58th year is what would it be like if I had something really wrong - though I guess I have to admit prostate cancer would probably rank way up there in the serious ratings, but remember, that was discovered last year. I just didn't go for surgery until January. I can't complain about the tooth. The dentist took the denture yesterday and sent it to the lab for the new tooth and then pulled the nearly unanchored perfectly good tooth today and re-inserted my denture with its new tooth. Luckily, I didn't need to be seen too much in my West Virginia mode. A little interesting note - the dentist tells me the teeth he pulls are sent to the dental school for teaching and research purposes. Since my teeth are all in good shape when they are pulled, I hope the students learn alot with my teeth! Oh those rotten gum genes!!! I actually don't mind becoming a dentured person. However, I find the endless torture of pulling one by one just incomprehensibl to say nothing of the hurt to my vanity to walk around with no teeth in my mouth for any number of days since 2001. Had I not used so much sick time this year, I might have stayed home yesterday, but I went to work yesterday and today, only using the necessary time to get done what had to be done. And tomorrow I will sing at church and all will be right with the world. Well, I have lots of vacation days racked up. The state increased the amount of time we are allowed to carry, so I just keep racking up those vacation days. I'll need them in case I need any other kind of surgery two years from now. I truly hope I am not setting a precedent for my golden years. Gosh, if I keep this up, I'll never have time to write my guide book for embarking upon the golden years. Another best seller bites the dust, and alas all possibility of ever becoming independently wealthy. I guess it's better for me to be average - HAH!! Not in MY lifetime!!! There must be a cruise or an extended tour of Eurpoe in my future. Why else would I be racking up days - NOT sick days?!?!?!

Stars and Stripes

OK I have to admit, I'm a sap for patriotic schlock. I like seeing flags and red, white and blue, bunting festooning everything that someone wants to festoon. I love fireworks! A real estate agent stuck flags in front of every house in my nieghborhood. I thought it really looked neat for my little 2-block street of Eas' Bal'more row houses to be lined with flags stuck in the ground lined in rows along the pa'ment. You really have to appreciate the local dialect, too. Wednesday Sarah and I sang an early American anthem by William Billings and this Sunday at church is the annual Independence day week-end extravaganza sending the choir off for it's two-month summer vacation - all American music. Yes, with my major in American literature, I'm also partial to American music. Why else would I know the lyrics of so many show tunes? Hey, they come in handy, often. And if you want to know what I think about the woman who sang alternate words to the Star Spangled Banner, claiming she was expressing her artistic understanding... well, bah humbug would be the polite version of my reaction. And it might be an instance where a societal return to public humiliation might be in order. A simple dunce cap or perhaps a sequined (making allowance for celebrity, gag) S for stupid might be in order. But I'm supposed to be too enlightened and liberal for such thoughts.

That Old Gang of Mine

The really OLD song says that wedding bells are breaking up that old gang of mine. Of course, I know the song from my forebears - it has nothing to do with MY age. Experience has demonstrated to me that we often change things every ten or twelve years. I've been in my present job for 11 years. And today I said abientot to the last of my lunch buddies and colleagues who, in a sense, would constitute that old gang of mine. There is still one who works in my building, but is actually a federal employee. When I came to the Department of Labor, on my very first day on the job, I was invited to have lunch with this one group of women - actually five women and me - I became the rooster in the hen house. It was a good move and became a regular part of my work day when I was in the office, not traveling. And I was honored and proud that I my innate radar seemed to have led me to automatically gravitate to people who were bright, competent, hard-working, socially adept, and artistically educated and curious. We had many fine lunch conversations and often ordered Chinese carry-out, which was always fun. Our Chinese carry-out and our regular lunches faded as people left the group. But the last one to leave was the one with whom I collaborated most often. So today for the second time in two months, I played host to a gathering to honor a retiree. Both of these last two retirees gave 30 years to the state of Maryland - a feat that is absolutely incomprehensible to me. So while it may not be wedding bells that are breaking up that old gang of mine for lunch at work, there are plenty of substitutes to blame: old age, considerable experience, new horizons, new adventures, health, history, politics - and that last is the most insidious. Shopping for food and gifts was exhausting. I don't shop much any more other than in the grocery store. Anything else gets ordered online. But I was able to spend some money getting the supplies for the party. Fortunately, there are some wonderful colleagues in my office who can set a beautiful table. I got some help wrapping presents too. Cake and Conversation with Kathy was a nice affair, but quite sad for me. Again, maybe it's age, but I'm having difficulty seeing how I will turn this around to feeling positive at work. And since it was Friday, it was my day to sing,
I'm so glad we had this time together,
Just to have a laugh or sing a song.
Seems we just get started and before we know it,
Comes the time we have to say, " So long."
Abientot.

hematoma granuloma

A hematoma is a bruise. A granuloma is a nodule. It seems that any time I have any kind of surgery, I am prone to create some sort of disturbance with my vocal folds. Two years ago following foot surgery I found I had a hematoma on the right from intubation during the surgery. When I learned I would have to have my prostate removed I was vehement about NO intubation after spending lots of money to rehabilitate my voice. SO this time following surgery with spinal anesthesia, after a short while after returning to singing, my voice started to go haywire again. Just like the first time, I ran to the voice teacher. Just like the first time the voice teacher told me to get to the doctor immediately because what was wrong was NOT my vocal production. Just like the first time, the doctor told me I had acid reflux. This time I argued. But my last doctor who discovered the hematoma had retired and I had to see one of his associates. Now this ENT practice is known for taking care of singers. The new ENT recommended an allergy series. Hence, yesterday's blog story. BUT, in addition to the allergy discoveries, I had a videoscope as I did with the hematoma, and this time we discovered a granuloma on the left side. The good news is that the granuloma is not as potentially serious as the hematoma was and there is no sign on my vocal folds of the past hematoma. It is expected the granuloma will disappear within two to three months. A granuloma can be caused by any number of things, but the doctor speculates that with surgery and post surgical pain drugs making me sleep often and deeply, some snoring or coughing caused the granuloma, and I never knew about it until I got back to singing, then once it was aggravated, things just went downhill quickly. So, by taking care of my allergies and singing less in the summer, things will again return to normal. I just don't want to hear anyone say anything to me about anything to do with surgery any more - at least until I retire permanently from singing. Surgery just seem s to be bad for MY voice! Hematoma, granuloma, rap rap rap...

Ah-choo

Today, I had an allergy test. I've never had an allergy test in my life. Today I learned something I've never know in my entire lifetime. There is great irony in what I learned from my allergy test. The primary allergen that causes the strongest allergic reaction in me is cats. What a thing for me to learn at this point in my life, as those who know me know that I have been a cat owner for 25 years of my life, and for 12 of those years, or so, I had two cats. And what do I get for owning cats for so long and being allergic to them? The doctor recommends that I empty and strip every room in my house to bare walls and floors, wash or refinish all the walls and floors, wash all textiles, get rid of all rugs or have them professionally cleaned, then return the room to its livable condition. Second on my list of allergens is cockroaches. Now fortunately, I don't have them in my house that I know of. But I see them at work all the time! There is nothing I can do about that! I also have reactions to weeds and mold. I am advised to be vigilant about cleaning the kitchen and bathroom where molds are most likely to grow. But none of my reactions are as strong as the one to cats. Alas, no kitties in my future ever again. This is sad. And I guess I'm going to have to learn to be more devoted to the household chores to keep the mold checked. Yeah, when hell freezes over. Though looking from another angle, may be I could use sick leave to catch up on the household chores. I've been looking for a reason to get rid of the bedroom rug - a remnant of a bygone era. Let's see, anyone want to wager how long it might take for me to dis-assemble and re-assemble my entire house???? NOT!!!!!

When celebrities leave us

I suppose it is a definite sign of age when we learn on the news that a celebrity who has made a mark on our consciousness passes on. I remember in days gone by when certain celebrities passed away and parents and even grandparents would comment on their importance or influence. I can remember the older generation talking about what a beautiful dancer Cyd Charisse was. I can't tell you anything else about Cyd Charisse except that she died recently and was admired by the older generation. And just yesterday came the anouncement that George Carlin died. Yes, he was a definite influence to my generation, Didn't we all laugh hysterically when we hear the 7 words you can't say on television? Weren't we coming into our own, making our mark on the popular culture when we realized that it was one of our comics who was making us laugh with material that would have never been uttered by our predecessors? What is to become of the popularizing of opera with Pavarotti gone? He certainly led me with what I wanted to learn to sing. And these are only entertainers. We wonder when we lose those who reached the pinnacle: the presidents, popes, and monarchs of the world. Still nothing touches us like the loss of those who we love the dearest. And it's not always the final loss that tears our emotions. I'm finding retirement losses are not as easy as they once were. A prelude to mortality?

Staying Young

How many times have we been told the way to stay young is to stay around young people. My week invovled attendance at two conferences which gave me occasion to buy several small stuffed animals for my god-daughter. What a joy to see stuffed animals and have someone to spoil with them. I need to be careful because god-daughter has lots of grandparents to do lots of spoiling too. Today I had a chance to go see a young people's community theater production of a new musical by Stephen Schwarz who is the author of Godspell. I was pleasantly surprised at the accomplishment of the group. The piano was inferior and had an ugly sound that drove me crazy (but we know I was always spoiled having only Steinways in practice rooms in my younger days - and now we know too that I have spoiled myself with a "Japanese Steinway" - a Yamaha that is considerably less expensive then their named cousins - after trading in my long-serving Baldwin spinet, I wondered how I ever played it!). Anyway, the show was quite convincing, none the less. It was so heartwarming to see such an array of young people so ardently employed in producing a show that was pleasantly entertaining. Oh, it is called Children of Eden. The director has some sort fo cancer and it is not known how long she will be able to continue. But, I thought how therapeutic it must be for her to be involved with young people as she battles a disease that will probably cause her demise. The show indeed had a hopeful message and the little theater troop utilized the talents of many young people. If you've listened to the Academy Awards, you've probably heard all sorts of actors waxing on the family involved in their films - the actors and the crew and all the auxilliary personnel. This local theater group indeed has formed a family! And how fortunate are those young people to find an activity worthy of their investment of time and energy. And I thought community theater was largely a thing of the past. What a potent reminder of the restorative power of connecting with young people!

Friday the 13th & Father's Day

SO, I visited Dad on Saturday. NO, I'm not superstitious, but age has its way of making one a bit more cautious than might have been historically accurate. And age has a way of slowing down one's productivity. Thankfully, it rained this evening, so I didn't have to water the outside pots. It takes so long to water pots. I don't know why I think growing things is so much fun in the concrete jungle? But just imagine the city air pollution that I clean singlehandedly with my vegetation on my spit of land. Oh, and isn't it just like Baltimore City to triple the land value of my little spit of land so they can collect more taxes. Of course I complain, They do nothing! Government! I am just so glad to be a public servant. Speaking of which, my days have involved just a little too much contact with certain staffers for politicans of state and national persuasions or some such. Well, somebody has to tell them the truth so they can spin it into their version of political reality. Politicians' staff DO check with experts. However, of course that doesn't mean that they'll make the right decision. But too much interest from politicians makes any day a Friday the 13th for an honest working man!

On cleverness

OH how many things are missed because I don't have time to write...or more commonly, the idea I had has escaped my brain AARP magazine has a list of things to write about for those who would like to start a journal. The ideas are good and I porbably will try my hand at a few of them. I like to be clever or entertaining when I write, but often when I have time the clever inspiration or the entertainment value has escaped my brain... like now. This is a blog entry about nothing, other than I have no clever inspiration or ideas to write about, and it is already June 9. I jumped June 1 as you will or have read in the previous entry. I am also learning that there is much more to blogging than just writing my entries. So many possibilities!! And hasn't everyone's parent warned about how much we realize that we don't know as we grow older? I can hardly come up with a new idea every week that I think is fit for public consumption. No, it's not writer's block. It's just lack of inspiration and limited mental faculty, i.e. memory. Would that I could add a memory card to my brain! So much for my cleverness.

June is bustin' out all over

So, there are Broadway songs for two months in a row! Look back on the May post - The Lusty Month of May. And since today is Saturday I cannot sing at work. Such a pity! Though I'm not sure I might be inspired to do that when I am a lone ranger.
Allergies are first priority today. I was awakened this morning with sneezing and had to take an Allegra. I had to get up in the middle of the night and turn on the air conditioning because I was sneezing. Apparently some pollen or other is really bad right now. My main suspect is oak. My roses are in their first full flush - soon to be a memory - all too soon I'll be spending time every day pruning the spent flowers so new ones will come. But there is never such a riotous display as that first flush!
Also I went back to the Ear, Nose Throat doctor. The one I saw in 2006 who discovered my bruised vocal chord had retired, so I had to see one of his partners. Dr. Goldstone was a nice man, but I was disappointed with his assessment. You see, I can sing, for a while, but I almost always wear out after a time. My voice rehab teacher says it is not my vocal production. Dr. Goldstone says he believes it is slight acid reflux. I don't trust that diagnosis because I've been there before. The first time I saw a ENT doctor, that's what he said, acid reflux, and I wasted 6 weeks taking pills with no improvement. I fear that is exactly where I am going to be now. And we know I hate pills! Dr. Goldstone also wants me to get an allergy work-up, something I thought I should do for years, but my primary care doctor believed is unnecessary. I have decided I'll give it a month, but I'm not going to wait 6 weeks. If there is no improvement in a month, I'm going back and demand the same detailed exam that found the bruise, if they have to knock me out to do it! (I have a strong gag reflex and my throat fights the strobe scope that found the bruise).
But, with having to turn on the air conditioner and get into the Allegra this morning, there obviously is some veracity to the allergy contribution. Yes, June is bustin' out all over - especially with pollen. And my big plan for the day is to work in the garden. But I already have my Allegra dose, so I should be fine! Let Jun keep bustin'! It's better than January!

Some good news?

A recent study conducted by Harvard University found that the averageAmerican walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study by the American Medical Association found thatAmericans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

This means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind Of Makes You Proud To Be An American.

Gloom and Doom

Work has been, shall I say, challenging, lo these past so many months - a new state administration and the death knells of a fading federal administration.
But, alas, and alack, my bestest ever bud at work told me this morning that she is retiring June 30. This is major devastation to my psyche. It is a source of hithertofore unkown psychological maladies. Can I go on working when the last of my original buds leaves me in the dust of the state bureaucracy? Dies irae, dies illa. Gloom and doom!! Come weep with me, past hope...
Get a grip? Of what? This really makes it difficult to let shine this li'l light of mine! I need Harry Potter's magic mirror so I can see things as I would like to see them. Gloom and doom!!! I'd best hie me to study some lemonade recipes. Gloom and doom!!!

Color Choices

Grandma had an eye for color. The horoscope believers would say it was a Libra trait. I'm not a Libra and I don't seem to have inherited Grandma's eye for color - just her dental curse (along with one from each of my other grandparent's. I expect I'll have full dentures by the time I'm sixty! Oh, joy!!) Since I don't have an eye for color, when I bought my house and began decorating it, I headed for those jewel tones. I figure you can't go too wrong with green, blue, and burgundy. But since I am also cursed with a somewhat creative mind, I am also always looking for a way to change things. Now, understand I never venture far. Changing the bedrom curtains and the shower curtain, bathroom rugs and kitchen rugs are about as far as I can venture. For one thing, I don't want to have to store a bunch of seasonal stuff and for another, I don't much care about having to change things at certain times. So, I have gone to changing the bathroom with the seasons as being my most ambitious effort for changing things. I found a wonderful French flower mart poster shower curtain that said spring to me - on sale, of course. I also found some rugs with some green and brown flecks. As there is dark green trim and a gold and green border in the bathroom, one needs to be careful with the greens. Now, one of the less prominent colors in my French flower mart shower curtain is an icy blue. This is a color I had never considered in my bathroom, but one that intrgued me for spring. So, I went looking for something to highlight that. Fearfully, I bought a very small ice blue mat for in front of the toilet and a larger randomly striped rug of olive, ice blue and taupe. To my surprise it worked. The taupe is the predominant color in the striped rug and as a neutral does not conflict with the dark green and other colors already in the bathroom. The small amount ice blue is refreshing and bright! I look at my unpredictable color combination and think Grandma is probably smiling from heaven with pleasure. You could have never convinced me that ice blue, olive and taupe would go with dark green and gold and black and white and not look like a kaleidoscope pattern. Of course, now that I am really liking my spring bathroom, it will be time to go to the summer decor in just a few weeks. Summer is simple gold and white. You see, I have no confidence in my own color choices. Grandma was so good at it. It just mystifies me - in spite of several successes of my own - witness my pink kitchen. I was convinced I had lost my mind the entire time I painted the kitchen. Now I cannot imagine it any other way other than white. So much for my color choices. It is probably more fear and lack of confidence rather than actual incapacity to choose colors harmoniously.

He Said She Said

Well, I suspect that only the most hardened political junkie (and perhaps a few people in Montana or North Dakota who still have to vote) can be even slightly interested in the democratic primary race at this point. And if the media hasn't lost its way, just look at what we are reduced to now - he said she said ad nauseam. The media folks need a serious review of the most basic lesson in what constitutes news reporting rather than repeating every he-said-she-said that can be collected in the course of one day - or even a few hours, for that matter. Didn't someone say, "Talk is cheap"? No wonder TV is mostly free! And what a scandal to live in the US and have to go to BBC news to get real news in English. Perhaps soon the Spanish stations will begin providing surtitle translations and then the English-only crowd will be able to have a few choices for real news. Quelle scandale!!!! I usually like the Spanish newscasts. The commentators speak very cleary. However, el presidente Bush sounds comical to me every time! Of course, that begs the question, does anyone take the man seriously any more? Does anyone take the American media seriously any more? Who me, cynical?

Pink Carnations

I am a little behind on this, but computer problems denied me access and my life has been too hectic to write. At church, on Mother's Day, they gave pink carnations to all the mothers in the congregation. Pink carnations on Mother's Day always invoke a fond memory of Grandpop making sure each of us got a pink carnation to wear in honor of our mother for Mother's Day, with the yearly reminder that pink was for people whose mothers were still living and white was for people whose mothers had reached their eternal home. It was so civilized and even a steelworker could make sure his grandchildren all wore carnations for Mother's Day. Today we've pretty much lost the ritual. Why I even heard more than one person complain about the woman that "invented" Mother's Day. Nostalgia, I think, is not so bad as long as one does not wallow in it. I think any reason for celebration should be relished. All too soon those pink carnations turn to white.

May Day and other firsts

Tra la, it's May, the lusty month of May,
that lovely month when everyone goes blisffully astray.
Tra la, it's here that shocking time of year,
when tons of wicked little thoughts merrily appear.
It's May! It's May! the month of great dismay,
when all the world is brimming with fun, wholesome or "un" -
It's mad! It's gay! a libelous display
Those dreary vows that evryone takes, everyone breaks,
Everyone makes divine mistakes - the lusty month of May!

I sing it every year and everyone at work wonders. It is good at my age to have people wonder.
It's such a shame Ameicans can't/won't celebrate with the rest of the world. Surely we don't want to give appearances of relishing something associated with communism. Oh, but in my own little corner my first rose is blooming; my goddaughter is having her first birthday; the first fruits in my gardens are showing: apricots, nectarines, cherries, strawberries, apples and blueberries. The blackberries will bloom soon. REALLY fresh produce is showing up in the markets. I had my first post-cancer check-up with everything wonderful. There is so much to enjoy and we all should make every effort to enjoy every day of the lusty month of May - and yes, I encourage even something lusty - it's good for everything! And all too soon the weather will be hot and sticky...and I won't finish that sentence! Tra la!

Cancer Survivor

In today's mail was a post card from almighty Hopkins. When I first glanced at it I was sure they were asking for money, so this post card was summarily destined to the recycle box, except something caught my eye: the words "cancer survivor". The card was an invitation to an open house at the Hopkins cancer building on June 1, which happens to be National Cancer Survivor day. I was floored. I forgot I am a cancer survivor. I decided to have my prostate removed in order to be sure that would be true. I had my three-month follow-up just the other day and everything continues to be better than expected. Indeed I am a cancer survivor. My life has been permanently altered and I forgot the applicable name. Cancer survivor is a new state of being that will take some adjustment to the undeniable reality. How blessed I am to have happened upon a top-notch surgeon AND have so many people pray for my success and recovery! I think now I will not forget my new moniker because it will take its permanent place on my list of things for which I am thankful. Hey, almighty Hopkins gave me another excuse for celebration - National Cancer Survivor day!

Loquacious Loca

It is usually a bother when the doorbell rings shortly after I come home from being out at work or wherever. I came home from church this afternoon and changed clothes and went to the garden to check things as there had been a thunderstorm during church this morning. After checking the garden, I came inside to hear the Westminster chimes. The doorbell ringer was the daughter of my neighbor - 3 doors away who said her mother wanted to talk to me. This request is almost always about something I should not be involved in -personal business - and it makes me anxious. It is always a cover for Mama Loca to absent-mindedly run her mouth. Mama Loca (her real name is Doris) is 88 years old and one of the most miserable people I've ever known or seen. (loca is Spanish for crazy - daughter is 58 and crazier than Mama). The cover questsion for this visit was: did I know a way she could have her dog put down because she can't afford to go to the local animal hospital? I didn't know there was anything wrong with the dog - he's a little schnauzer-type terrier named Joey. Mama claims Joey is blind. I don't know how she would know that if the dog never goes tot he vet. Of course, I don't know any way to put a dog down other than to go to the vet unless one lives out in the country and can use a gun. So when I had no answer to the question Mama began her stories of nastiness and nonsense about each of the neighbors and each of her children. One of the things she says is that she told her son she wants $25000 from him because he and his wife both have two good jobs and plenty of money and she needs money. She tells stories of supposed conversations with nearly all the neighbors and they're all about people butting into her personal life and who is having relationships with whom (all fantasies from what I can tell) and how she is going to call the cops and have someone arrested then sue them for all they're worth. No one in the neighborhood talks to the woman because it only takes once before you realize that the woman just talks to hear herself talk, and most of her children do not visit her I would guess for the same reason, and I might guess that she has worn their patience asking for money. She had a husband when they moved to the neighborhood. He retired from the railroad and died about 3 years ago. Apparently, there was no life insurance. She gets part of his railroad pension and social security, which by all indications is barely enough to get by on. The house is dirty, she says because she can't do anything and her daughter has to spend all her time taking care of her. While she regaled me with nonsense and nastiness I was asking myself how much time constitutes my Christian duty for patience and kindness on Sunday afternoon right after church. I left wondering whether or not I should report her to social services or animal control - the dog looks OK to me, but I am reasonably certain he has not been to a vet - and I am not sure about the veracity of her claim of his condition or her inability to care for him properly. If I could believe anything she says a coures of action would be less problematic. And if I report her and someone comes to check things out, there is another danger because the woman is extremely prejudiced and openly states that she hates blacks - she uses the N word freely. (While ranting she was saying things about all the N's who live in this house or that house and according to what I know there are no persons of color in any of the houses about which she ranted. The neighborhood is becoming integrated, but with Latinos, not blacks.) In Baltimore City, the likelihood that someone investigating might be black is rather high. I think this is a case where being kind and letting her rant for some minutes might be the extent of what I can accomplish. I wonder if the dog needs attention, and above all I wonder what will happen to the daughter when Mama departs this earth. Daughter appears to have definite mental problems. Daughter has some children - I think two or three - but they don't visit either. It's all so curious and I try to avoid contact, but the doorbell summons me. Avoidance is sometimes not an option.

On Elitism

One of the things that drives me crazy about politics is the way politicians use words that are perfectly acceptable in other contexts to try to demean the opponent. It is no secret that I could correctly be labeled as liberal. Liberal in my world means one is well-educated and prefers to consider more broadly topics, themes and ideas than would those of opposing instincts. I find nothing demeaning in such a definition and proudly display my liberal preference. Then there is the the term elitist. In its current derrogatory use it is meant to denote out-of-touch with the common person. I find this attempt to use this term in this manner puzzling. An executive is supposed to be a leader, who by definition needs to go beyond the level of the common person. I think historically in the US, Andrew Jackson was considered by the populace to be the person with the most demonstrable links to the common person, yet even he has been demonstrated by the judgment of history to be a person of rather great accomplishment, much moreso than so many thousands of Americans alive in his day. And if an elitist only understands the people at the top, then why is it that the liberal elitists are the most socialist in their thinking? Isn't the American dream one of elitist achievement - fine house, fine material goods, fine education, fine aspects of all social contracts, and a fine old Yankee can-do attitude?
Actually, I wonder if we have ever elected a president who had not achieved some degree of elitism. And who made the rule that having achieved any degree of elitism pre-emptively divorces one from the experience of the common person? Besides, in the context that started this thought process, I bet one could list item for item elements that could constitute elitism from either side. In the wisdom of the ages from the idiomatic lexicon of the common person, isn't this a case of the pot calling the kettle black? "Yeah, I'm just like you" is the intended message. I hope no one I know is going to vote for a president who is very much like himself or herself. Apparently, I don't know enough elite people.

Tax Day

April 15, besides being tax day is my anniversary date for my service as an employee of the state of Maryland - 16 years working full-time for the state (actually 17, but the first year was a contractual position that doesn't count) I am so glad to live in the state where if you can think about it, we can tax it. No, it's not an original thought, I read it somewhere that I don't remember. Of course, my taxes were done in February and my refunds were deposited and used to pay those ever-mounting bills. I've heard it said that in the past 30 years Maryland state employees have lost more that half of their salary power because wages have not kept up with the inflation rate. I don't know where that knowledge comes from, and I don't know whether or not it is true, but it sounds dire - dire enough for tax day. And I know it seems that there just isn't as much room in the take-home budget as there used to be. Oh, and to add to the misery of the day, I got my annual statement from Social Security. Looks like I'll be working until I'm 70 somehow. And Chris had to put down her Jack Russell - Taz - too many tumors and too many problems and misery. But, fear not, all is not misery on this tax day. I can look forward to more tennis elbow electrocution sesssions to re-charge my glowing personality - cough, cough. No, that's not and original comment either - just another wise crack from the peanut gallery!!

First Things First

You asked for it - you got it.
Welcome to my blog.
Come by and check things out occasionally -see if there is anything of interest.
You never know where my mind is going.